While I was driving home from work yesterday I was thinking about my children. I was thinking about how proud I am of them. They are all really great kids. I was thinking about their lives, how they have lived in the same place for the last 7 years, how they have lasting friendships, how when we go to Brookshires or McDonalds people know them, how great is that! I love that they have friends, I love that they attend church and live in a community where people care about them, I love that they will be able to attend their 10 year class reunion and know the other people there.
I miss that. In my youth I never attended the same school for a complete year. We moved around so often. There were no lasting friendships, no school activities, no girlscouts, or caring neighbors.
I guess that has carried over into my adulthood. Still I have no close friendships. I tell myself it is because I do not really have time for friends, but I think really it is because I am afraid. I don't want to get to close to someone and risk getting hurt. I am also very shy and unsure of myself. I don't know if I would be a very good close friend. I expect alot from people, I get disappointed easily.
Anyway, back to the kiddos. I am so glad that they have the life that they do. When I was young I promised myself that my children would live a life opposite mine. That they would stay in a school and do things and have fun, have good memories. I want them to be able to think about the past and to smile. I want them to remember birthdays and Christmas' I want them to tell their children how we would go outside and play in the rain. How we went on picnics and went camping. I pray that I have helped them to have those good memories. I pray that when they get older they will think of me and smile. I pray that I am a good mother, because that is so important to me. It is so important that they think of their childhood and are able to smile.