Today has been a sad day. It is the anniversary of my dads death. Every year on this day I am so close to tears that if someone says boo to me I break down.
A few days ago my younger sister had a beautiful baby boy. I was just looking at a picture of him and it made me cry. I have been praying nonstop that this sweet baby will be okay. I have also been praying for his mommy and daddy. I wish that they didn't have to go through all of this again. I wish there was something that I could do for them, anything to ease their stress and fear.
I wish that I could go back in time and change my and my younger sisters relationship. I wish that I wouldn't have let my jealousy put such a large wedge in between us. I was so jealous of how much my dad loved her. I allowed myself to believe it was her fault that my dad didn't love me (or so I thought).
Miranda, if you ever read this please except my apology for never being there for you. Please forgive me for anytime that I acted ugly or withdrawn. Please believe that I have grown up alot since then and would really love to be a part of your life, and know that you can count on me to be there if you ever want me to be. Know that I love you. I know that you didnt know me very well, but I really love you.
And Dad, if you are able to look down upon us, I miss you. I love you. Please watch over us all. Watch over baby Brayden. I think of you so often. I hope you are proud of the woman I have become.
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