Changes

Right now my family is going through many changes, which is exciting but scary.
Erika has a new job. I believe that she likes it which is very exciting because she was so unhappy at her former job.
Erika and Caleb are planning to marry soon which is both exciting and scary. Caleb is a very good young man that loves her very much. I know that they will have a wonderful life together. The scary part is that I cant imagine not seeing Erika every day. She has been a part of my life since I was a young girl, she is probably the person that I am closest to in this world. I know that I am not losing her, but I also know that I will see her less. That is very hard for me to imagine, not seeing her beautiful face every day.
Daniel is starting a trade school on Monday. He will learn welding and machining. He is so excited about this. I haven't seen him excited about anything in a very long time. I pulled him out of AHS and am home schooling him so that he can get his high school diploma. If all goes well, in 3 weeks he can be a high school graduate. In seven weeks he can be a certified welder, and 7 weeks after that a certified machinist. How exciting is that. The scary part is what if I made a bad decision, what if he fails?
John quit his job, now it will be just me supporting all of us. Lately he hadn't made very much, but still it was some money coming in. I am already struggling to get everything paid, what am I going to do now. This is the scary one, no exciting here. I know that he was unhappy working were he did so I understand that he needed to quit, but the selfish part of me wishes he could have stuck with it until he found another job.
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed, trying to deal with all of Daniels problems, keeping the bills paid, the laundry done, the house clean, and working. Every night before I go to sleep I start to pray, the next morning I wake up and remember that I fell asleep without saying Amen. I am so tired, not sure why, I get my 8 hours but still when I wake up in the morning I do not want to open my eyes.
Please don't think I am unhappy. I am so blessed. I have a wonderful, beautiful, loving, healthy family. I have a home, a job, my puppies, a car. I have so much. In a way I feel selfish for feeling the way I do. I am not unhappy, just overwhelmed. I just need a plan. Maybe a evening and weekend job just to get caught up on the bills. I will pray, God will provide as he always does.